Warmth
by Melfina Lupin
Summary: Sirius flies north to confront Remus after Harry Potter #3 (slash)


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Warmth by Yui

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Author's Note: This story take places right after Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. It's Remus/Sirius so it's slash. ^_^ If this story moves you to an emotional break down or if you just like it, don't hesitate to review. ^^; I live on reviews. XD

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Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. I only borrow them for my amusement. ^_^ Much thanks to the nice J.K Rowling who is good enough to share! (Thank you)

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Warmth. He needed it. Badly. He hated the cold. He hated being surrounded by the stabbing coldness for so long. He hated the way it chilled his bones and the way it made his body shiver. He hated the eleven long, hard years that he suffered, stuffed away in the same miserable dark cell in that hellhole. He hated the eleven years he spent alone with only the perpetual frost in the air and the lunatic screams to keep him company. 

Eleven years was a long time not to see the sun or feel its warmth embracing the body. He had spent enough time with the wintry winds and the frosty hint of snow clinging to the air to be eager to be absolved from it. He needed to go to a place where there was nothing but the sun and tepid heat for miles and miles, stretching endlessly into a pale blue sky.

Much as he would have liked to imagine a hot African day, the frigid night breeze brought the pensive Sirius back to a cold reality. Instead of sweating, he was shaking violently beneath his threadbare robe and pressed closer against the gray hippogriff to steal some body heat. Amidst the sounds of his chattering teeth, he heard Buckbeak give a faint cry that echoed into the lonely night sky. Sirius slowly patted the feathery head with his numb hands, offering the only comfort he could.

"Just a little longer, buddy," he murmured, almost pleading, in a hoarse voice. "Hold on. We are almost there."

Buckbeak gave another high-pitched wail, softer this time, and continued to soar through the clear darkness against the icy zephyr. Above them, a pregnant moon was fading into a waning crescent while countless stars twinkled like little candles in the sable sky. Sirius held on for dear life and didn't dare to look down, almost tempted to close his tired eyes and wait out the rest of the flight altogether. 

Riding a broomstick and an enchanted motorbike was one thing but riding on the back of a creature like Buckbeak called for abrupt adjustment. He wasn't in the mood to fall off and become a puddle of goo down there. He was in the mood to survive. He'd be damned if a little height scared him witless after the hell he had just been through.

The air cut sharply pass the pair, tearing at Sirius' long mane of hair and unkempt robes. Taking a deep breath for courage, he forced himself to peer below. It was an awesome sight. A few hills lay beneath the massive sky, covering the ground. From his point of view he couldn't tell their size exactly but some were tall enough for the tips to be coated with white snow, which meant that they were heading further north, toward to more arctic conditions. But he forced himself to ride Buckbeak and not turn back. They were getting closer to their destination every second. Just a bit more. The coldness would be worth it. They wouldn't linger or stay long once there. Just long enough to tire up some loose ends. After that, he and Buckbeak would be free to fly as far south as time would allow.

Sirius only traveled during the night as usual so he had the day to hide, eat, and rest but he was still on the run, starved, and tired. He needed to be extra careful too, being the alleged killer from Azkaban. He had been on the run a little more than a year or so and yet was prowling around Great Britain. It was only a couple of days ago that he finally met with his godson Harry and, to his surprise, a very old friend. Remus Lupin. 

Sirius' name had been cleared in a matter of an hour as both he and Remus told Harry, Ron, and Hermione what really happened at Godric's Grove that grim night as well as the following day. Peter, the true betrayer of Lily and James Potter, had been caught. But to Sirius' grime disappointment, things had gone greatly awry and Sirius was still the murderer while Peter ran free as a bloody rat back to the Dark Lord.

With a little worried frown, Sirius remembered his last encounter with Remus at the Shrieking Shack. Although they had embraced one another like brothers, it left him all the more void of feelings. Were they just going to act like nothing had ever happened between them? Well they couldn't just kiss and reconcile after eleven years of pain and doubt in front of Harry and his friends. That would require a long-winded explanation of love and sex that Sirius hadn't been ready to give. He had been overly engrossed with the thoughts of clearing his name and killing Peter. 

Though Sirius had his share of doubts and troubles, he had a few good memories of the night that had been so long ago. He finally had the chance to me his godson as man to boy and talk with him. Dog eyes were good but human eyes were better when it came to seeing Harry and his shockingly green eyes of his mother and disheveled sable hair and glasses of his father. He really was James and Lily's son; brave, intelligent, yet humble and honorable. They would have been so proud of him. Hell, Sirius was proud of him and in his heart, he knew that Remus was too. But above all else, Harry finally knew the truth and trusted him. That made Sirius happy.

Another one of Buckbeak's mighty cries made Sirius focus on the gloomy present again. The powerful hippogriff was gliding in a large circle above a dark patch of land, the movement of his winds echoing in the wind. Sirius looked to the side and squinted through the darkness. If the light had been any poorer, he might have missed it. But there among the shadows, bathed in the pale white light of the stars, was a little house nestled into the gentle roll of a hill. It was such a charming sight that he smiled despite his increasing anxiety.

"Good boy!" Sirius told the hippogriff with a vigorous pat on the head. "Now take us down and be quite."

This was the last thing he had to do. He had to see Remus one last time before he headed South. There was just too much left out in the open when Sirius reunited with his friend. And he was worried. But what else could he have done? There hadn't been any time for a pleasant cup of tea. 

Time. There always wasn't enough. To Sirius, time was his mortal enemy. He was always losing precious time as if the world was moving too far ahead, too fast for him to really live in the present. It was an awful game of cat and mouse.

While Buckbeak cautiously descended to the frozen earth, Sirius desperately prayed that this would work. A day or so ago he had received an own to his complete astonishment. The letter held the address of a house where the lonely werewolf had taken shelter. A teacher at Hogwarts had offered the house to Remus. And it sure was far away in a very remote location of Northern Scotland. Sirius still had the letter. It was crammed tightly into the side of his worn shoe for safekeeping. There had been no names on the message but Sirius could tell it was Dumbledore had sent it. He knew that man's curly script from a mile away.

He was very thankful that he had gotten such a letter from the headmaster. Otherwise, he would have no way to locate Remus after the end of the school year. Sirius really needed to see he friend and late lover. He really didn't want to think that Remus had moved on. He hoped he didn't anyway. But eleven years was a long time to wait. Even for love. Still it felt like Sirius would crash and burn if he didn't get some answers.

The small cottage appeared to be vacant from the sky but as he flew closer he could see that smoke was coming from the tall granite chimney and there was a weak but warm radiance emptying out into the night from a front window. Remus should be awake then. Sirius hopped that his sudden and unexpected visit would be welcome with open arms by the occupant. If it seemed differently, Sirius would not linger. There was no need to be an itch in someone's backside. But he prayed that scenario would never come to play.

They landed in the cold, thick darkness, burrowed in the small grove of evergreens behind the stony dwelling. Sirius quickly climbed down from the great animal and dropped to the hard ground with a solid thud. He looked towards the picturesque house, suddenly more nervous that before. His heart was ready to leap out of his chest. His anxiety made his stomach knot up and he was instantly ashamed of his behavior. This was Remus; the same old Moony who had already forgiven Sirius for everything. Yet would he continue to act as though they had three young children watching them in the distance?

Heaving a somber sigh and shivering from the cold, Sirius began to move forward. His actions were silent and swift, almost cat-like, totally hidden in the sullen shadows of the trees. He would be as quick as possible. But why was it so hard to walk? It was as if he had lead strapped to his legs that hindered his movements and deadened his pace. The dwelling was a good ten yards away but as Sirius paused to glance at it, it seemed impossible to get to. 

He stopped once more when he felt something tug at the back of his robe. Curious, Sirius glanced over his shoulder and saw Buckbeak holding the worn fabric in his golden beak, his eyes troubled. There was a low, almost bothered growl rising from the hippogriff's mighty throat. Sirius offered a fragile smile and stroked Buckbeak's smooth beak with his callused palm. 

"It's all right, boy," he murmured softly, touched at the animal's loyalty. "There is nothing to here to fear."

This seemed to appease the distressed hippogriff and he quickly opened his beak to let the robe fall free. Then Buckbeak retreated to the heavy shadows and sat upon the deadened ground, his massive gray wings enclosing around the fatigued body. Looking forward again, Sirius moved forward. 

He shivered as the cold wind blew and drew his robe closer around his this body despite its depreciated state. He sure hoped that Remus would still be unalarmed by his filthy appearance. He hoped that Remus could still disregard the fourteen years of dirt, filth, and starvation. Right now Sirius was positive that he could scare death to an early grave with his white, gaunt face, hollow eyes, and foul aroma. And that was simply depressing. He never really knew how much Azkaban had mutilated his body until he was free of its grasp and saw it for himself in the light of day.

Sirius had more than hygiene to think about in Azkaban. Like his innocence and the suicidal pain that trailed betrayal. But now that he had his freedom and was miles away from those beastly dementers, his mind was unrestricted. He could think about Harry, the sun, and warmth. Sirius could finally be happy for the first time in over a decade. Now, however, his mind was occupied with thoughts of Remus and the uncertainty he felt was almost as dreadful as a dementer's presence. 

They had loved one another before that dark Halloween night in 1981. They had loved each other to the point where Sirius had thought about marriage and their future together. And why should they not marry? Their future looked so calm and beautiful, new and exciting. Remus was his mate. Away from Azkaban, Sirius could finally recall the times when he had held Remus in his arms. He could think about how much he had loved being kissed by that beautiful werewolf and how much he had loved being in love with Remus. But, like time, the long, harsh years were Sirius' foe.

Sirius just needed to know if Remus still loved him. Maybe he was being too hasty or too reckless. Maybe he ought to give Remus some time to think about things. But Sirius' lonely heart would never rest. Damn it, he just _needed_ to know. It was like a disease, consuming him from the inside out until it ate him alive. Afterwards, be the answer yes or no, Sirius told himself that he would not push. He would leave just like that.

He was gaining slowly on the house until he was standing in the small garden behind it. Despite the unmerciful cold, all sorts of enchanted flowers and herbs blossomed under the dark sky-thyme, sweet basil, lavender, rosemary, and fennel. Both sweet and bitter perfumes met and mingled in the air, bewitching it. 

The windows in the back of the bucolic dwelling were dark and barren, save for the one on the far right side next to the smoking chimney. Despite its empty look, the stone cottage seemed entirely too homey to Sirius for a moment that the site of it brought a pleasure that was unbearable. The house was the kind that offered peace and security, or hot butter beer by the fireside on a winter's night-with someone special lying in his arms. Suddenly this strange house felt like a home and his heart ached for its comforts.

Get it together, Sirius scolded himself with a hard mental shake. This is not the time to get emotional.

With a joyless frown, he stared at the dark house for an indulgent moment, letting all the painful memories of the past devour his sentiments, before moving on grimly. It felt like walking against the tide. And the harder he tried, the harder it was to get his legs to move forward. The cold was making him all the more miserable while an insufferable worry began to weaken his stomach and his nerve. Well he could either freeze outside or take a small chance and knock on the bloody door.

Sirius gave a pensive sigh and cautiously examined his options. He didn't make the difficult journey to freeze to death. So, with that in mind, he stumbled to the threshold as if punched by an invisible force, and rapt quickly at the old wooden door. Then he waited, forgetting to breathe given his anxiety-ridden condition. Absent-mindedly he regarded his soiled fingers against the fresh green ivy clinging to the doorframe and paled dramatically. Maybe he should have washed up a bit before coming. But there had been no time, he told himself quietly. Like always, there was no time.

He knocked again at the door when the silence thickened. Was it that late outside? Did he come at a bad time? Sirius played around a bit at the idea of leaving. That wait was intolerable and so was the cold. However, he knew that he would wait forever if he had to, just to see Remus again.

When the door was finally pulled prudently away from the threshold, Sirius' heart felt as though it would explode. A dim yellow light poured over him and he winced at the unfamiliar luminosity, forcing himself not to turn away from it. When his eyes adjusted to the light, he slowly altered his attention to the silent figure, poised motionless in the entrance.

With all his might, Sirius tried to offer a friendly smile but it seemed he was frozen stiff. But at least his eyes were able to watch that face that was so painfully familiar, so beautiful and, yet at the same time, so foreign. His eyes were still the same color of warm honey and his hair, though longer, was dark brown graced with locks of silver. But there were some things that Sirius didn't remember being there at all-the deep lines on the milky forehead, the heaviness that weighted down the mouth, the sense of deep sadness lying just below the surface of the ethereal face. Now there was a look of utter shock upon the ashen face but in a matter of seconds, a heartfelt smile brightened the expression. But Sirius was still wary.

"I won't stay long, Moony," he managed to say. His voice was low and grating to his ears as if he had not used his voice in quite a while.

Instantly Remus lowered his wand, still holding his elated smile. "I was sleeping when you came…" Yes the voice was even as Sirius remembered-gentle and musical in its deepness. "I thought it was someone…I didn't know it was you Sirius," He ran a long slender hand through his disheveled hair in a moment of perturbation. "Come in, please…" He stepped aside, widening the entrance.

"I won't stay long," Sirius repeated, afraid that Remus had not heard him before.

Instantly the other man frowned and slowly reached out to him, his hands settling firmly on Sirius' gaunt shoulders. "You aren't intruding. _Honestly_," Remus persisted gently. "Please - I _want_ you to come inside. It's bloody cold out and you're probably freezing to death." 

Sirius didn't expect such courtesy or kindness. He was struck speechless. All he could do was nod and cautiously make his way inside the provincial cottage. It was as warm and cozy as he imagined it would be. There was a bright fire going in the hearth in the living room, giving the ancient, red draped room a look of womb-like intimacy. He saw a large overstuffed chair seated before the fire. Crowded around it was a melange of books. No doubt, Remus had been siting there, reading and sleeping. Sirius wanted to smile at the site that was so painfully precious but he couldn't as tears quickly sprang into his eyes. Turning, he saw Remus quietly close and lock the wooden door. 

"I can't believe you're here, Padfoot," Remus spoke after a calm moment. "I'm glad you are here," he corrected with a smile.

Sirius stared at him, not moving at all. It had been too much to see Remus like this- simple and natural. He sought to regain some control but the tears were coming and the damn was quickly breaking. His lips moved as if to say something but no words come about. Giving up the downhill struggle, he finally embraced his friend and held on tight. 

He buried his face in Remus' long honey locks, taking in his aromatic scent of lavender and firewood. Remus was deliciously warm, soft, and full of vitality in his thin arms. Sirius' body trembled at the contact but he refused to coil away in apprehension. He needed to touch Remus, to make all this suddenly tangible. Sirius felt Remus' gentle hands on his back, caressing with tender touches, with his smooth cheek pressed against Sirius'. After a moment, the ice and loneliness inside him began to melt. Sirius consumed the warmth in the hug like a starving child.

"I'll miss you, Moony," Sirius whispered. His voice had been very quiet but Remus had heard him. Pulling back, Remus regarded him with the utmost puzzlement. 

"Miss me? What do you mean?"

"I'm going south for a while," he explained. "I need the warmth and the sun…"

Remus looked very worried now. "But you've only just come. You will stay long enough to clean up, eat, and rest, right? You shouldn't push yourself, Padfoot. You need to rest and regain your strength for such a journey."

Sirius found himself glancing sheepishly down towards the floor. "Well now that you mention it…if you don't mind…"

"I'm as much of a guest as you are, Padfoot," Remus told him. His voice was soft, more like a caress then a whisper. Sirius immediately wanted to hold him again. "You are welcome to stay however long you wish to."

For a second time Sirius was deeply touched by Remus' open-handed kindness and all too soon, emotions surged throughout his already assailable system. They devoured him and he was helpless to save himself. He turned away so that Remus couldn't see the tears falling, covering his face with his hands. It was just too much to have Remus there at his side as if nothing had divided them. For the first time in a long while, Sirius felt the tender, loving arms of warmth wrap around his heart and he stopped shivering.

"Padfoot?" There was genuine concern in Remus' voice as he laid a hand on Sirius' trembling shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Sirius sniffled, quickly wiping away his downpour of tears with an apologetic manner. "It's just…I didn't expect…I don't know why, Moony…I just missed you so much. I miss the little things in life that makes living special…I…"

"Oh, Sirius, there is no need to apologize," Remus murmured, his voice trembling just as badly as Sirius' body. 

He moved forward to grab Sirius again but the other man was quicker. They held each other again; friends once more reunited after lengthy years of separation and torment. Theirs was a firm, tight hold. Where Sirius' begged for comfort, Remus' gave support and warmth unreservedly. But there was something else in the embrace that Sirius thought would never be rekindled. They were locked together in that embrace that endured time and silence until Sirius pulled away, his burdens somehow lighter by the mere touch of Remus.

"You don't know how good it feels to touch someone after so long," he murmured, with a small, elated smile. "I couldn't be more happy that that someone is you, Moony. Thank you…for everything…for letting me stay."

"Thank you for coming to see me, Padfoot," Remus replied, his voice whispered and husky. "I know you really didn't have to." His long, sturdy hands were inattentively rubbing Sirius' strained shoulders and Sirius wondered if Remus knew what he was doing. His gentle touch felt great after such a hard journey to the cottage that Sirius hoped that he would never stop." I worried about where you would go after you had escaped from Hogwarts." A hefty pause. "I'm glad you are all right."

Sirius looked at his friend and former mate, a look of silent reflection on his gaunt face. After a moment, he offered a faint, consoling smile. He could practically feel Remus' pain. In an instant he had Remus' hands locked in his own.

"I don't blame you for what happened that night with Peter and Harry," Sirius told him, his voice almost fierce in his ardent honesty. "It was an accident. Don't worry about it. It wasn't your fault."

"But we were so close," Remus ruefully responded. "So close to turning Peter in and clearing your name. I was so stupid, forgetting about the full moon and the potion. I'm so sorry, Sirius. I really made an awful mess of everything."

Sirius gave a grim sigh and said, "You don't need to apologize to me, Moony. I don't blame you so don't think I do. I don't care what happened as long as everyone is okay."

"But Peter…"

"We will catch him again soon enough," Sirius interrupted quickly, squeezing Remus' lifeless hands. "Don't worry. Next time we will get him for good."

"I hope you're right," Remus replied, his expression still lost in his grief. He didn't look as though he believed Sirius one bit. With a little sigh, Sirius gave Remus a feeble smile. Despite how odd it felt to smile again Sirius was willing to bear if for him.

"Trust me, love," Sirius murmured. He couldn't stop himself from speaking that little term of endearment and ended up cursing himself for its pretext, faultless or not. Debauchery was something neither one of them was willing to deal with at the moment. But why did it feel so right? They both needed comfort but, damn it, Sirius didn't fly across Scotland to harass or take advantage of Remus. He came for some answers. 

Looking a little more melancholy, Sirius pushed back his thoughts and hesitantly met Remus' attentive watch with his own eyes, his heart making a wild leap into his throat. After all the hard years that passed, Sirius could not believe how lovely Remus still was; a quiet allure of his that wavered on the line of sensual romanticism. Remus' eyes, a melting pot of brown, gold, and wintry green, were searching his face for something while now and then drooping low to Sirius' mouth. Then something awoke in Sirius that filled him with so much love and desire for his mate. Maybe it was intimate surroundings of the room or their snug nearness. Sirius didn't know but he felt positive that Remus felt the same way. There was a warm, stirring look in the werewolf's hazel eyes. 

Tentatively, Sirius raised a grimy hand to Remus' pale face and gently brushed his bottom lip with the pad of his thumb, making sure not to actually touch him. The stroke was feather-light, almost non-existent, but it left his soul shaking as if he had experienced an epiphany. In response, Sirius saw Remus' eyes close and his mouth parted just a bit. Neither man breathed.

Sirius moved closer to Remus until there were only inches between them. His hands moved to hold Remus' face gently as Remus slowly reopened his eyes and looked at Sirius. Sirius drank in the site of his former lover before he inclined his head and gently pressed his lips against Remus' own. The other man acted as if he half-expected the kiss.

His mouth was just as soft and yielding, just as fragile and sweet as the kiss. Sirius thought that he would explode with such a beautifully delicate caress of their mouths, the affectionate love-play of reunited lips. He felt Remus' trembling hands lie flat on his thin chest as the virginal assault on the senses continued. It had been so long since he actually touched Remus so intimately. Now that it was finally happening, Sirius was overcome with love and desperately wanted more.

He felt Remus shudder as Sirius deepened the kiss. His tongue ran across Remus' warm lips and felt a shock of electricity run through his body as he met Remus' own. Remus moaned as he allowed Sirius to ravage his mouth, his own hunger just as prominent. He wrapped his arms around Sirius' neck, pressing his body closer to the other, as Sirius' hand grabbed his hips firmly, pushing Remus against the door. Their breathing began harsher and the kiss became almost savage with the unspoken desire of both men. 

Sirius moaned, his mouth slanting over Remus' again and again, feeling his lower body fill with warmth and longing. Giving into his urge, he began to grind his hips against Remus. Remus cried out as the delicious friction heightened his own arousal, throwing his head back. Sirius took that opportunity to nuzzle the exposed neck, feeling Remus' heart beat race under his mouth. Remus slid his legs round Sirius, still grinding their hardened erections together. Remus' hands shook with desire as he worked open Sirius' robe. When his warm hands slid down the gaunt chest of his mate, reality slammed into Remus. He froze, horrified as tears flooded his eyes.

"Oh god…" he whispered, feeling Sirius' gaunt ribcage against his palms. "Sirius…stop…"

Sirius pulled back and stared at Remus, confusion on his face. The werewolf was flushed with desire, his eyes were stormy pools of flaming amber and his mouth was swollen with the passionate kiss, and his hair and robe were rumpled. Sirius noted the tears in Remus' vivid eyes and then he noticed his exposed chest, sickly emaciated and pallid in the firelight. No doubt, this had been enough to horrify and disgust even the most compassionate and benevolent of people. Sirius had to admit that even _he_ was something horrified at his present condition. 

Awkwardly, he lowered Remus and slowly backed away, glancing down at his own claw-like thin hands as if he had been burned. How could he have thought that Remus would still love him when he was just a skeleton, a hollow shell of his younger self? How could Remus bring himself to make love to a bag of bones?

"I'm sorry," Remus whispered to him. His voice was trembling. "I don't want to hurt you…"

"Hurt me?" Sirius answered. He didn't try to keep his anger or hostility in check.

"Yes, hurt you…_Why_ are you so angry?"

"Because I disgust you!" Sirius cried out.

"What?" Remus looked as if someone had struck him. "Padfoot, that is ridiculous!"

"Why else did you stop?"

"You…er…don't seem well enough to engage in such libidinous activities," Remus replied, his face red with color. "I just think that it would be for your own good if your strength and health return to you before…" 

A heavy silence fell upon the warm room as both men stared at one another, motionless and embarrassed. It took a moment for Sirius to understand what Remus had said. When he did, Sirius moved to bury his face in his callused hands, ashamed of his own thoughts.

"Padfoot? What it is?" There was genuine concern in Remus' resonant voice that made Sirius even more mortified. How could he have ever of thought that Remus-a loyal and honorable soul-was appalled? 

"Nothing," Sirius replied. "It's just that…I thought that you were… revolted by the way I look and…"

"Oh, Padfoot." Remus moved away from the door and stood before Sirius, eyes sympathetic. Gently he took hold of his hands and brought them away from Sirius' face. "Nothing that you could ever do could make me revolted by you. You mean so much too me… I'm only revolted by the fact that an innocent man had been thrown into Azkaban and received such suffering when he did nothing to deserve it. And I will do all I can to help you regain your strength and health again, dear Padfoot."

"Thank you, Moony," Sirius whispered. "And I'm sorry that I reacted the way I did…I didn't mean…"

"It's all right," Remus replied. "At least now I know that parts of your are in better condition than others." With an alluring smile, he moved closer to Sirius and gently grasped his still throbbing arousal in his firm hand. Sirius gasped, a groan dying in his lungs. "It's a pity though," Remus continued in his low voice, "I would have loved nurturing _this_ part of you back to health." Then Remus released him and began to button up Sirius' thin robe nonchalantly. Sirius could only gawk in disbelief. 

"You are so mean," he told Remus, with shake of his head. 

Remus shot his a heart-felt smile. "Come on, Sirius," Remus murmured, grabbing Sirius' hand in his own. "Let me get you something to eat and then afterwards you can have a nice long bath. How does that sound?"

"It sounds wonderful…lonely but wonderful," Sirius replied with a faint smile. His voice sounded harsh and listless to his ears but Remus didn't seem to mind. He let the werewolf lead him across the room and into the dark, chilly kitchen. He sighed in the darkness, trying to calm himself.

"Well if you behave yourself, I might just join you, Padfoot," Remus said, squeezing Sirius' hand. Then he pulled out his wand and pointed the end towards the empty fireplace. Murmuring a spell, orange and yellow flames ignited in the brick hearth. The fire bathed the large kitchen in a rich golden glow and the sulking shadows danced away. Remus told Sirius to take a seat at the table and he moved about the room, trying to prepare an adequate meal.

"You really don't have to go through all the trouble, Moony," Sirius offered a tired protest as he watched Remus hunt through a cabinet. "Everything tastes the same to me anyhow."

"Hogwash," the other man replied, frowning as he sat a plate and eating utensils before Sirius on the smooth burnish surface of the table. The silver knife and fork were wrapped in a fancy blue napkin for Remus' safety. Sirius noted this and scowled in contemplation.

"Of course it makes eating a little funny but Dumbledore has nothing else," Remus told him with a forced laugh. When Sirius didn't comment, he cleared his throat and turned casually away. "I had some chicken and potatoes earlier. It's the only thing I have at the moment I'm afraid so it'll have to do."

"It will," Sirius said softly, watching as Remus warmed up a pot of tea and dinner in the fire. "Thank you. You really don't have to go through the trouble."

"Of course I have to, Padfoot," Remus replied. His voice was calm but irritation was just below the balmy surface. He turned around to regard Sirius, hazel eyes almost gold in the light. "Are you my friend and I don't want to see you hurt anymore. Call it making up for the last years when I thought you deserved Azkaban…"Remus quickly shut up, biting his lower lip. His eyes were clouded over when he looked away. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to say that…"

With a morose sigh, he spun away and frantically began to search through the cupboards again. "I'm sorry but I don't think I have any fresh herbs to put in the tea," he murmured softly. "I used the last of the lemon this morning…"

While Remus continued his compulsive exploration, Sirius quietly pushed back his chair and stood up. He could sense that Remus' pain was as terrible as his own was and his heart bled for him. He walked over to him and wrapped his arms around Remus' lanky middle. The occupied werewolf tensed in the unanticipated embrace but relaxed in a heartbeat.

"It's okay, love," Sirius cooed softly in his ear. "I don't blame you. It doesn't matter what we had thought then. We didn't know. What we know now is important. We are and have always been loyal to each other and to James."

"I suppose you are right." Remus gave a shuddering breath. "We didn't know. We were so young and thought that we were invincible…I'm sorry, Sirius. I should have trusted you."

"And I should have trusted you as well, Remus," he replied. "I'm sorry I didn't." Sirius felt Remus squeezed his hands with his own. His touch was warm and gentle. Sirius sighed, closed his weary eyes and buried his face in the side of Remus' neck for a quick moment, fleetly brushing his lips against the sensitive flesh ever so slightly. 

A consuming ache ate away at Sirius' heart. He missed time like these. Times when they had held each other so close and so dear; with tender touches and soft yielding mouths. It was times like this when Sirius melted at the gentleness at it all. He had forgotten what it was like to be gentle; to experience a moment so fragile that it was hardly tangible.

Remus sighed softly in Sirius' arms. He felt his body ease into the affectionate embrace for a delicious moment before forcing himself to confront reality once more. But how he yearned just to remain warm and treasured in Sirius' arms. "Your dinner is probably done by now," he murmured reluctantly, casting an eye to the glowing heart. The smell of chicken filled the room with an appetizing aroma. 

"Just another moment longer," Sirius pleaded against Remus' neck, the dark, unshaven whiskers of his beard scouring the tender skin. He felt Remus shudder in reaction as if cold. "You feel so good and so warm…it's been such a long time…such a long, lonely time." He placed a gentle kiss against the ticklish spot below Remus' ear.

"Well I do have more leftovers if it burns…"the preoccupied werewolf murmured under his breath, hardly thinking at all as he felt Sirius' mouth bathe his neck with small, sweet kisses and hot breath.

Remus sighed once more and closed his eyes as if in a stupor, surrendering to the honeyed assault. Slowly Sirius made his way to Remus' soft mouth, caressing a warm trail over the smooth skin and soaking up the sensations like a dry sponge. He let his dark eyes wonder over his beautiful mate in complete and utter love. And he desired nothing more than kissing and ravishing ever inch of his mate's gorgeous body.

But Sirius was hasty to remember what he looked like. The thought stopped him. A good, long bath and a good meal before anything should happen would probably be the wisest choice. Most liking he smelled worse than a dog; he hadn't had a proper bath in such a long time.

Sirius pulled back a bit and waited patiently until Remus opened his brilliant to look at him. His heart flipped into his stomach when he saw Remus' beautiful golden eyes clouded with hunger and love. Sirius smiled tenderly down at him, his soul weeping at Remus' serene expression. 

"You have made me forget myself, Sirius," he whispered in impassive admonishment, his voice deliciously warm and husky.

"I'm sorry," Sirius lied with a playful smile. He quickly passed his lips against Remus' temple. "You looked so beautiful. I couldn't help myself."

With great reluctance, Remus pulled away from the embrace, shooting Sirius a grin. "Let me see what has become of your dinner." Sirius nodded and let his arms drop to his side before he walked back to the table to sit down.

"You should probably let it cool for a moment, Padfoot," Remus told him as he spooned an appetizing amount of hot chicken and potatoes onto Sirius' plate. Looking down at the meal, hunger flared up in Sirius' empty stomach and he tried his best not to gobble it down in an instant.

Remus put the iron pot back in the glowing hearth and returned with two cups of tea in his hands. He sat one before Sirius and silently moved away to a near-by window, peering out into the night. Sirius appreciated the privacy and promptly began to devour at his dinner. After the long years in Azkaban, this was like a feast. He forgot to be mannered and use the silverware and ate with his fingers instead. A few minutes went by and the plate was completely empty.

"Do you want any more?" Remus asked politely from his solitary position at the window.

Sirius gave a sheepish smile, thinking that he would never be full even if he ate a dinner fit for a king. "Yes, please."

As the sympathetic werewolf dished out seconds, he suddenly asked Sirius, "How did you get here? You couldn't have made it all the way up here as quick as you did as a dog."

"I had a ride from Buckbeak," he replied, sipping his warm tea and mindfully watching Remus' pensive face. "Hagrid's hippogriff…Would you mind if I gave him something to eat? He's probably hungry from the journey."

"No. Just sit down and enjoy your meal," Remus answered, shooting a glance to the window to peer out into the darkness. "I'll do it. Where is he?"

"In the forest out back," Sirius replied. Nervously he watched as Remus grabbed an iron basket from beside the fireplace. "Maybe I should do it. Buckbeak could be a problem for you because he doesn't know you…" 

"Nonsense," Remus said in return as he busied himself by filling the basket with the rest of the dinner, a loaf of bread, cheese and cold meat. "I have dealt with many magical creatures and am well adept at handling tired and hungry hippogriffs, Padfoot."

"Don't forget to bow," Sirius murmured gingerly.

Remus flashed him a bright smile. "There is a little shed in the forest. I will put him in there for the night. It's too cold to leave him out there."

Sirius nodded, biting his tongue. He wanted so much to tell Remus to be careful but he didn't. Remus would merely brush him off. He knew what he was doing. Hadn't he been the only student at Hogwarts who knew everything about magical creatures? Sirius saw Remus leave the kitchen, pausing in the living room to put on a long winter robe and grab a blanket, before stepping out of the cottage.

Sirius sighed heavily and started to eat his second serving much more slowly this time. However he ate sluggishly and his stomach was tight with uneasiness. Without realizing, he strained his ears to catch anything unusual. He hoped that Buckbeak was too tired to notice that Remus was a werewolf. But Sirius reminded himself that Remus knew what he was doing. He wouldn't have survived if he didn't. With a frown, Sirius gulped down his tea and finished his meal in the strained silence. 

Finally the back door opened and Remus appeared in the other room once more, shivering and flushed from the cold. He tossed off his outer robe and sat aside the iron pail before walking into the kitchen.

"How is he?" Sirius asked as he got up to place his plate and cup in the sink.

"Famished and exhausted but fine," Remus answered, his voice weary but compassionate. He paused at the table to look at Sirius. There was a concentrated, pondering expression on his face as if he were trying to read Sirius' mind. "You know," he began slowly, "you did not have to ride so hard nor so fast to get up here. I am not planning to leave here anytime soon."

"I know," Sirius murmured hesitantly. He saw some crumbs on the wooden counter and made quick work brushing them into the deep belly of the sink as well. 

"Why such a hurry to get here, Padfoot?" Remus asked.

"I don't know." Sirius didn't look at the other man. "I just needed to know how…how things stand between us and…how you feel about me now that I'm out of Azkaban."

Remus didn't speak for a moment but allowed a tense silence to fall between them. Sirius' heart began to pound, suddenly nervous and scared. He turned around slowly, his brow knotted and lips thin and pale, and regarded the other man.

Remus was looking to the blazing fire. The silvery strains in his cinnamon hair were lustrous with the fiery light and his amber eyes were glowing. His thin, handsome face was locked in a calm but thoughtful expression that was hard for Sirius to decipher. Remus seemed too beautiful to him suddenly and Sirius was completely spellbound.

Remus broke Sirius' contemplation, saying, "I think it's quite obvious how I feel about you, Padfoot. But if you need more reassurance I'd be more than happy to oblige." His voice was soft and placid but there was warmth and humor glowing in his eyes.

The shock and relief Sirius felt didn't leave any room for a reply. Astonished, he watched Remus move across the room, closing the distance between them quickly. He stopped several inches away from Sirius and gently cupped Sirius' thin, pale face in the warm palms of his hands. The touch was so tender and comforting that Sirius couldn't help but close his eyes in surrender.

"I still hold a great affection for you, Sirius," he heard Remus' soft whisper. "That will never change. Even while you were in Azkaban, I thought I was mad for I could not stop myself from loving you."

Sirius felt warm tears spring forth even from behind his closed eyelids. "Oh, Moony…" he murmured but he found that it was too hard to speak. His throat was tight and dry as if he had been running without any water. Carefully, he placed his hands over Remus' and opened his cerulean eyes, gazing at the other man warmly, wanting his strength so badly.

Remus stared back, undaunted by Sirius' silence, his hazel eyes gentle and smile accepting. For a delicate moment, he looked over Sirius' face. Neither one hardly moved or breathed so fragile was this lapse of time. The moment passes and a small smile broke Remus' musing expression, his rosy lips bending ever so slightly upwards. He leaned into Sirius and sealed his mouth was a soft kiss.

"I could never stop loving you, Sirius," Remus whispered quietly, his mouth fluttering over Sirius' face as he placed another kiss on his cheek and chin. "Never."

Sirius was stunned and humbled.

"I love you." Remus whispered, kissing his forehead. "I love you." A kiss was placed on his whiskered cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too, Moony," Sirius replied softly. He gently ran his long fingers through Remus' hair, loving the softness of it.

Remus leaned back a little and smiled, his handsome face glowing was love. "A nice, long bath sounds good right now, don't you think, Sirius?"

The End ^_^

****

A/N: I will leave your imagination up to the challenge of figuring out what happens next. It shouldn't take much brainpower. XD But don't you feel all warm inside now? Geez, that last scene was so sweet I got a toothache writing it! Lupin is just a sweetie. **melts** Anyway, please review! O_O ß my version of the pleading puppy-dog eyes. 


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